Why Non Religious Confessionals Should Be a Thing – People Watching #2

(church organ music) – Well, it’s like this… Forgive me, but I have never
watched Game of Thrones. – [Voice From Speaker] Nice,
I thought I was the only one. ♫ On an innocent trip,
how can one ruin so much ♫ A belief in a soul, in
a beauty, or in a touch ♫ It’s like a three-legged
dog in search of a crutch – Okay, so how’s this work? Just like a normal confession
booth thing, but for anyone? – [Rick] Yes, exactly. It always helps to say
your problems out loud. Whatever you might need
to get off your chest. Kind of a social experiment,
I suppose you’d say. – And you’re sure this
is completely anonymous? – Couldn’t pick you out
of a lineup if we tried. – [Blonde Girl] Okay, and what’s
this thing here, a printer? – [Rick] That comes later. Wait for it. So, yeah, whenever you’re ready. No pressure. – Yeah, exactly. I don’t know. Let’s see. – Well, it’s like this… I genuinely enjoy the
music of Limp Bizkit. Oh, man, now it’s out there. – I talk during movies, ’cause I know people are
too polite to shush me, so I basically just give’er. – I hate all of the music
you’re supposed to like. I hate Bowie, and I hate
Prince, and I hate Dylan, and I really hate Neil Young. And I feel like I’m the only one. – I only pee… In the shower. Oh, god. – And Star Wars too! Fuck Star Wars! God, I’m a monster! – What if I wanna confess
something kinda personal? Is that cool? – [Rick] Yeah, whatever you need to say. – All right, challenge accepted. I sexually fantasize about my best friend. Am I doing this right? – I love my job, but I feel like I’m an
imposter all the time, like I’m gonna get fired when
someone belatedly realizes that I was hired by mistake or something. – I almost literally
imagine us having sex, and it’s extremely unpleasant. And I hate that I’m secretly
just a freak, you know? – Like, all Limp Bizkit. Even “Results May Vary.” Especially “Results May Vary.” – My parents don’t know
what I do for a living, mostly because they’re assholes, and if they did, they’d disown me. Literally disown me. Like, with paperwork. – People think I’m this busy professional, but I probably do like two
hours of actual work a day. – Okay, let’s see. Everyone else just seems so happy, and I feel like I completely
don’t belong here, and everyone is just waiting for me to die so they can get back to normal. – My friend forced me to do this because I never talk
about my feelings, so… Yep. – Oh, yeah, and I’m 32, but I’ve never so much as kissed anyone, let alone had sex, and I’m fine with that, but I’m also really not fine with that. – I don’t know, I think introspection just makes people less happy. And there are legitimately
situations where people just need to suck it up
and get on with things, because we’re all tougher than
we give ourselves credit for. But of course no one wants to hear that, so I just kind of keep it to myself. Oh wait. There’s a confession! – Even at this age, my parents can just tear my self-esteem right the fuck down. I ask myself, why do I
still care what they think? And I think it’s just
that if I stopped caring, it would be the end of the relationship, and as shitty as things
are, the only thing shittier would be to not have your
parents in your life. Oh, I’m fucking never having
kids, did I mention that? – [Anonymous Confessor]
It’s not that I’m trapped in the wrong body. It’s that I don’t really
care either way, you know? I’d be happy as either gender, but, like, what is that, you know? – Is that normal? – Is that normal? – Is that normal? – It’s not, is it? And… I’m always secretly wondering if anyone actually likes each other. You see people talking,
and you assume friendship, but maybe society is just an act? Because if it’s not, it means I’m as big of a loser as I think I am. – When my friend talks
about his depression, I’m sometimes just thinking,
“yeah, whatever, dude,” but I don’t actually say it,
because that wouldn’t be PC. Obviously, I love him, that’s
why I care to begin with. I just get so tired of waiting for him to get back to normal. I need someone to listen to
my problems too, you know? I get depressed too, but oh no, he’s always taking care
of himself, because… And this is actually
pretty fucking sinister now that I say it out loud. – And what else here? I’m a feminist, yet I
like fake boobs, and… – It’s been three dates and
I still haven’t told her. – That I just can’t handle illness. – And I make sexist jokes, but it’s just to impress my friends. – And I hate my friends. – And I tell people I have bitch face, but I’m actually a bitch. Like I actually am visibly disgusted with most people I meet. – So yeah. I suck, basically. – And in a way that other people don’t. And that’s it. That’s everything. Thanks for listening. – [Rick] No problem. And before you go, that’s for you there. – What is this? – [Rick] That’s a summary
of what you talked about, and the numbers are how many
other visitors to the booth have confessed the exact same thing. – Oh wow, really? – That many? Huh. – Seriously? – God, you know, it’s like… Is it the actual issue
that’s bothering you, or that you think it’s only you, you know? ♫ On an innocent trip,
how can one ruin so much ♫ A belief in a soul, in
a beauty, or in a touch ♫ It’s like a three-legged
dog in search of a crutch ♫ Dissecting in past
all the motives of such ♫ She once loved this person
in a trial out of sight ♫ Disposing of their present situation ♫ It felt right – Hey, how’s it going? Recognize my voice? That’s right, I’m the guy who plays Jeremy on peopleWatching. If you wanna visit
facebook.com/subnormality, you’ll find all kinds of
new goodies about the show, and the web comic “Subnormality.” See you there. (wink sound)

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