Welcome To Ireland: The Irish Tone Police

Welcome To Ireland: The Irish Tone Police

Hi. Do I give you this? Ah yeah, no. No we’re not customs, we’re the tone police. So just a few things you need to know before entering the country; first of all, you can be openly pro choice now. Yeah. We’re fierce progressive altogether since we got that gay Taoiseach. That’s great. Just don’t be too shrill about it. D’ya know what I mean? Calm down a bit. And… what if you’re pro-life? Ah sure let them off. If the pictures of the dead babies bothers ya so much sure you’re probably pro-life yourself, wha. Anyway, pro-choice is grand, just don’t go on about it. If you’re gay, that’s totally fine. Just don’t be too flamboyant. D’ya know what I mean? There’s no need for all the glitter like; not everyone needs to know you’re gay. Take our Taoiseach for example, he’s gay, but he doesn’t go around flaunting it in our faces. Like, he was even against gay marriage. You can say vaguely racist things here, but only as long as it’s posed as a joke, or a question. You’re free to discuss religion all you want, but blasphemy does carry a €25,000 fine so that’s just something to keep in mind if you’re going to be taking the lord’s name in vain. The lord? Jesus. What about Allah and Budda? Ahh, that’s fine, they’re not real. You can say “Brits out”, as long as you’re laughing or drinking when you say it, preferably both. We prefer anti-English sentiment to come in the form of really terrible British accent impressions, and supporting any other team except for England, in any sport, ever. You can talk about Brexit, but, I’d be careful talking about the North. Like, walls have ears, d’ya know what I mean? I… I don’t…. Quickly about jobs, if you’re going to work as a journalist, you have to learn how to ask a question, and then shout over the answer. If you are going to work in politics which… I imagine, you’re not, you have to learn how to answer a question in a really long rambling way, without saying anything at all. If you’re gonna be a blogger, you’d be more successful if you’re also a model, and finally, watch you’re mouth when speaking to your mother or you’ll get the wooden spoon. *laughs* That’s… that’s a joke, that was one from my childhood. Emmm…. any questions? A few.. Welcome to Ireland.

54 Replies to “Welcome To Ireland: The Irish Tone Police”

  1. This makes me kinda worried about moving to Ireland next year for uni…
    Gladly this is funny, so it lets me laugh anyway xD

  2. I honestly don't think people would have a problem with people being gay if they weren't constantly shoving it in your face on tv and at public parades and such all the time.

  3. I'm loving all these political rants! People need to realise that we can't be okay with the kind of shit they're forcing down our throats anymore.

  4. Claire, I really don't understand why you have such a hard-on for Islam, but shit on catholicism all the time. That is extremely hypocritical. People shit on all religions, not just Islam.

  5. Brilliant video Claire. But…"we're not customs" Customs deals with bringing things into Ireland. Immigration deals with people.

  6. This is excellent. I can't help but feel though that the character at the desk should be looking back with a higher line of sight at the character supposedly standing up!

  7. I love you claire but regardless of how much you think you know, you still know very little about the effects of pushing the modern day liberal feminist agenda.

  8. I love the part about being a politician. So Mr. Governor did you unlawfully authorize lane closures on the bridge. It's all one huge lie. I'm on a diet and ordered my staff to close the fridge, not the bridge. This is all a big misunderstanding. I was not aware of what my staff was doing.

  9. 'Supporting any other team, apart from England in any sport ever' I made a weird almost wheezing noise ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  10. I know why you're not getting the views. But you really don't want to get the answer to that one.

  11. I'm scared now, Will I get shanked if I go to Ireland being a brit, even though i'm of Irish descent?

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