Trump’s Dumb ‘Hall Of Presidents’ Request

Trump’s Dumb ‘Hall Of Presidents’ Request


ALL WEEK, WE’VE BEEN LEARNING
BEHIND-THE-SCENES DETAILS OF THE TRUMP PRESIDENCY FROM THE NEW
TELL-ALL “TEAM OF VIPERS,” BY FORMER TRUMP STAFFER AND NEWBORN
BABY WITH A FULL SET OF CHOMPERS, CLIFF SIMS. CLIFF SIMS IS GOING TO BE OUR
GUEST ON MONDAY, AND I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, BECAUSE THERE’S
SOME JUICE IN THERE. A LOT OF THE INFORMATION IN THIS
BOOK IS UPSETTING AND FRIGHTENING. BUT LUCKILY, SOME OF IT IS JUST
DELIGHTFULLY DUMB, LIKE THIS STORY. WHEN REPRESENTATIVES FROM DISNEY
WENT TO THE WHITE HOUSE TO CAPTURE TRUMP’S VOICE FOR HIS
ANIMATRONIC FIGURE IN THE HALL OF PRESIDENTS, TRUMP HAD AN
UNUSUAL REQUEST. “TRUMP WANTED HIS ROBOTIC
LIKENESS TO TELL DISNEY-GOERS THAT AMERICANS INVENTED THE
SKYSCRAPER.” HOW IS THAT WHAT YOU PICK? FOR PETE’S SAKE, ROBOT LINCOLN’S
TALKING ABOUT THE EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION, AND YOU WANT YOUR
GUY SAYING, “BEFORE AMERICA, THERE WERE NO PENTHOUSES TO
OFFER VLADIMIR PUTIN AND– ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
AND, AND– AND, LOOK, GIANT GORILLAS HAD NOTHING TO
CLIMB.” DISNEY HAD JUST ONE SMALL NOTE
ON THAT REQUEST, SAYING THAT AMERICANS HADN’T ACTUALLY
INVENTED THE CONCEPT OF A SKYSCRAPER. IT’S “JUST A TALLER BUILDING.” (AS TRUMP ): “OKAY, BUT AMERICA
DID INVENT HIGH-FIVES, CHEESE-IN-CRUST PIZZA,
HOT DOG-IN-CRUST PIZZA, AND PIZZA-IN-CRUST HOT DOGS. ( LAUGHTER )
THANK YOU, BENJAMIN FRANKLIN. WE WILL FIND YOUR REAL KILLER
SOMEDAY.” AND IF YOU THINK THAT REQUEST
WAS STRANGE, JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR THE LOGIC BEHIND IT. HE WANTED TO MENTION SKYSCRAPERS
TO REMIND VISITORS OF HIS OWN CAREER IN REAL ESTATE, SAYING,
“THEN I COULD ADD A LITTLE, ‘WHICH, OF COURSE, I KNOW A
THING OR TWO ABOUT,’ RIGHT?” EVIDENTLY NOT! BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT WE INVENTED
THEM! ( LAUGHTER )
AND THAT’S NOT THE ONLY BIZARRE STORY IN THIS BOOK. SIMS WRITES THAT BACK IN 2017,
TRUMP TALKED TO A NASA ADMINISTRATOR AND SAID, “WHAT’S
OUR PLAN FOR MARS?” THE ADMINISTRATOR EXPLAINED TO
THE PRESIDENT THAT BY THE 2030s, NASA WOULD ATTEMPT A MANNED
SPACEFLIGHT. (AS TRUMP ): “BUT IS THERE ANY
WAY WE COULD DO IT BY THE END OF MY FIRST TERM? ( LAUGHTER )
ALSO, UNRELATED QUESTION: CAN YOU BE SUBPOENAED IN SPACE? ( LAUGHTER )
ARE THERE SPACE MUELLERS? ARE THERE
WHAT IF I… WHAT IF?” NASA TOLD HIM NO, THAT WAS
IMPOSSIBLE. BUT TRUMP WAS WILLING TO DO
ANYTHING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. (AS TRUMP ): “BUT WHAT IF I GAV
YOU ALL THE MONEY YOU COULD EVER NEED TO DO IT? WHAT IF WE SENT NASA’S BUDGET
THROUGH THE ROOF BUT FOCUSED ENTIRELY ON THAT INSTEAD OF
WHATEVER ELSE YOU’RE DOING NOW? AND WHAT IF– FOLLOW ME HERE–
WHAT IF WE LAUNCHED THE ROCKET OFF A BIG, BEAUTIFUL WALL, AND
INSIDE THE ROCKET, NANCY PELOSI? ( LAUGHTER )
OR AS I CALL HER, ‘NANCY.'” ( LAUGHTER )
AND THAT WASN’T THE END– ( APPLAUSE )
THAT WASN’T THE END– THEY LOVE THE NEW NICKNAME. PEOPLE LOVE THE NEW NICKNAME,
JON.>>Jon: NANCY
>>Stephen: AND THAT WASN’T THE END OF THE ODD BEHAVIOR. SIMS REPORTS THAT JUST BEFORE
CALLING THE ASTRONAUTS, TRUMP DECIDED TO STOP IN HIS
WHITE-MARBLED BATHROOM FOR ONE FINAL CHECK IN THE MIRROR,
SMIRKED, AND SAID TO HIMSELF, “SPACE STATION, THIS IS YOUR
PRESIDENT.” (AS TRUMP ): “YES, I AM YOUR
SPACE PRESIDENT. PEW! PEW! PEW! PEW! HEY, PRINCESS LEIA, OBI-WAN’S
NOT YOUR ONLY HOPE.” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WHAT? ! WHAT! OF COURSE A LOT OF GREAT NEW
IDEAS COME FROM OUTSIDE OF WASHINGTON. THIS ISN’T ONE OF THEM. AN ARIZONA STATE LEGISLATOR HAS
PROPOSED A BILL TO FUND THE BORDER WALL THROUGH A TAX ON
PORN. YOU WANT TO START THE NEXT
AMERICAN REVOLUTION? START TAXING PORN. AS PATRICK HENRY ONCE SAID,
“GIVE ME BIG NATURALS OR GIVE ME DEATH!”
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THE WOMAN–
THE WOMAN WHO WANTS TO TAKE AWAY YOUR PORN IS ARIZONA STATE REP
AND EXACTLY WHAT YOU THOUGHT SHE’D LOOK LIKE, GAIL GRIFFIN. ( LAUGHTER )
EVEN IF HER BILL PASSES, IT MAY NOT BE ENOUGH, BECAUSE WHILE
TRUMP NEEDS $5.7 BILLION FOR HIS WALL, ARIZONA PLANS A TAX OF
$20, BUT HAS ONLY 7 MILLION RESIDENTS. THAT MEANS, TO PAY FOR THE WALL,
EVERY SINGLE ARIZONAN WOULD HAVE TO LOOK AT PORN 814 TIMES. ( LAUGHTER )
THAT COULD TAKE HOURS. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.

100 Replies to “Trump’s Dumb ‘Hall Of Presidents’ Request”

  1. Trump is really trying to leave his mark on America. A pity he will be remembered for being the worse President in history… which is something I guess.

  2. ok but I don't know if Carrie Fisher would've applauded you for that comment or punched you in the face for the mental image 😀

  3. Trump was actually trying to be himself and Disney was like nah. They should’ve let him say that as it better captures the essence of the 45th President. 😂

  4. We should lobby for a manned trip to Mars, build the rocket and tell Trump it’s the new airforce 1. It would be a tight fit but we could then get the whole shitshow on board if we take out the fuel for the return trip. 😉

  5. I’m from Arizona, and I have to say we tend to elect some real winners. How about the time we elected a person who was in prison for racketeering at the time. We also elected a dead guy.

  6. Forget about Mars i can show u aliens right here in the planet. Not just an Alien, International Aliens also referred to as immigrants. Job saved. Give me those billion dollars.

  7. Liberals are murders. All of you are corrupt and evil and you will keep loosing day after day. Look forward to the liberal tears videos that will come out after the 2020 election passes. Already getting my popcorn ready. Gonna be good. 👍

  8. every time I hear about another piece of Trump stupdity i am stuck by the fact that lying about a blowjob got the GOP to railroad Clinton out but they do nothing about the current lying sack of shit that is potus…
    GOP really is just the party of liars and fools.

  9. isn't interesting how the only ones really ever against porn are religious nuts, closeted kink stars and grotesque goblins?

  10. Oh my, I can't wait for Trump to go after Texan's land.Good luck with that Mr president. N, jersey aint' Texas sir.

  11. Just when I was beginning to truly admire him again, Colbert went for celebrating porn and body shaming women.
    He has some of the sharpest writers on TV and went for the cheapest laughs on the planet.

    SETH DOES IT RIGHT.

  12. At least they can just reuse parts from the "It's a Small World" ride for his robopresident…. (namely the hands from the children animatronics)…. lol

  13. I am imagining a father telling his teenage son, "To fund the wall. We must watch as much porn as possible. It is our patriotic duty."

    Son replied, "Cool."

  14. Dear Mr. Colbert, CCTV would cordially invite you to host our Chines New Year Prime Time Show. I know it is a rush. But your insights of your president is of the greatest value to the mass people of China. Since there is a great wall in our cyber space, most of our people could not enjoy your heartfelt thoughts. Therefore your immediate flying to Beijing is most appreciated and welcome. Thank you and have a Prosperous Pig Year. May you make a lot of money on exploiting Trump!

  15. If he increased NASA funding enough to allow for a manned mars mission in under 10 years, I would’ve praised him for that.

    Granted, it would’ve been the ONLY good thing he’s ever done, but still. 😛

  16. Actually, the first skyscraper was in Chicago. Using steel as the load bearing components was first developed by Major William Jenney, the Chicago Home Insurance Building. Finally, Trump was right on one thing! Now, back to the rest of his lies…

  17. William Le Baron Jenney is best known for designing the ten-story Home Insurance Building in Chicago. The building was the first fully metal-framed building, and is considered the first skyscraper. Just saying.

  18. Just in case Trump is reading this… Mr President, I hate you, BUT, if you did actually do something AMAZING and I mean TRULY AMAZING like diverted 25% of the budget you spend on defence to NASA instead, I would respect you. Divert 50% and I will personally defend you on all forums. I will become a Trumptard. But you have to do that great thing first. Not a wall, nothing divisive, something amazing and American and, dare I say it, Trumpian.

    -Ellie H. Jones

  19. Sure, just how we should get people, especially those who will never find true love, threw these dark times: Making it worth money to fulfill the only deed left capable of preventing blue balls. Real smart.

  20. i'm not a trump fan, but …..1885
    Further developments led to the world's first skyscraper, the ten-story Home Insurance Building in Chicago, built in 1884–1885. While its height is not considered very impressive today, it was at that time.

  21. People get offended and upset at cleavage, butts, red Starbucks coffee cups and mother's breastfeeding now days. Tax on porn, good luck finding a universal definition!
    Have Trump stop his weekly trips to his resort, that should get you half way there.

  22. Colbert was struggling at the beginning to find his feet….his has firmly planted himself as the prime runner in late night talk show….conan is still my fav…letterman is god….but colbert is really kicking ass….all thanks to the greatest joke of this century…"trump as president"

  23. Ulterior motive idea; By putting a ban on porn, magazines and DVDs would get dearer, BUT the sneaky part…the government would need to know if you were looking at porn on the Internet, so they would need to record your internet activity. I'm pretty sure they do that anyway, but this is just a way to make it 'legal'.

  24. They should just use the recordings from his doll. The best line is "The buck starts here." Yep. He really said it. He was proud of it — a clever play on words, he thought, having no idea what the context of the words on which he was playing was, unfamiliar with the concept, but not the practice, of #PassingtheBuck.

  25. So full of your bullshits for more than 2-3 year same cheap jokes and no action about the problem . All you have done is normalizing Trump's bizzar actions as fast as possible with your daily humor .

  26. 对了,五湖四海有无大法律官師呢,日本台炒作青海師也詐騙財的媒体文章过,日本台購更小峊哪東帝士以及外交官以及紅十字会以及獅子会以及王小明基金会以及一大堆基金会,以及黑金以及爭光榮費,,,??。
    会不会是獅子偷資財,一定是獅子取財導至的,打倒邪獅子会,打倒獅子以善言詞名義取財,打倒獅子,,,。
    对了,香港怎无檔案公佈呢,是地下X丫Z檔案否,假丟槍大事丫,要是伤到国外就不好了??,如果找到檔,一定成名,还可有接不完的件,更出名,因為,死人等不及,,唷,是大案件,,,。
    口丟,要賺獅子財,卡沒很簡单又出名,,,靠,小財小利,口丟。
    还好要有信心,基督不会放棄你们的,相信基督的安排,相信基督得永生,要相信基督是世界的精神糧食,,,。
    对了,有无大特律法師可以到世际法庭卞呢,先找秘檔一定大発,,,名气,再卞成即歸印伽舊軌高速通,,,So??。
    还好不是五湖四海講解,吃案又啃幼众又啃上下以及坑百姓,喔,气色好,文謅謅吔,好有文化財華唷,子女好乖好有文化唷,,,好神,是好神,省得幼众乱花,,,好好唷,世界有基督真好。
    哈,跟你们說喔,以前的古堡,拆的拆改建囚監的很多,哈,所以一定要相信基督的安排,基督有他的道理,一定要相信基督,要有信心,,,。
    真心換絕情,对了,牆上铁條有沒有加裝通电呢,発电機,探照灯型,哈,,,??。嗨们,怎麼了,発生什麼事了??,其實神愛世人,信基督得永生,耒,一起閟眼,双手合握,用力緊握,大家一起耒,一起祈禱,希望基督和馬莉静聽,一起為苦難祈禱,紅十字,童子軍,獅子会,慈济人,各大基金,各大银行,各大股市,各大球号,,,請球号連号開準一些,讓簽注者,一連莊到世际末,人人有機会連莊,而付出以心捐贈,使死人可以得到医助,不受病夢羅惡夢侵床,喔,一起祈禱半天閟眼,,,喔,其實基督是有用意,才会如此吧,所以相信基督的安排,信任基督得信心得永生,鴿子相信基督的安排,,,。
    对了,叔叔,你相信古堡盟众嗎??,鴿子相信他们在天上或树上,很嘿屁,,,S0??。
    博士们,鴿子愛,,,。
    踩尸升級,喔吔,,,。
    博士们,計時,,,鴿子愛博士们。
    再找懐錶私藏众,,,喔吔,然後等塵淨後,还有暇餘時,踢土也会出宝物,,,喔吔。
    哈,但,还是恭喜你,檀峊巡海咩警,看到水上機車就想到檀峊警騎海上巡咩組,大慨泡咩到外,沒有全交代交任,哈,哈,博土後即把鴿子抽水馬達水上飄用中古貨还漏水PO上网,大白鯊还衝破鋼网,防弹玻璃鋼门也撞破,,,??。
    沒什麼比真心付出对待,換来的是財富众絕情对待,,,。
    像厭惡白头盔糾紀,真心為揪出真假,卻貼更近假白头盔真土匪流氓幫族小日本鬼暗思想??,真心正義少了,只剩流氓土匪財富仿冒官商白头盔王族,,,世界大变了,,,真心好人死光了,So,壞人会更多了,因為,好人死光後,剩下都壞人丫,,,从数字百分比也知丫,,,。
    其實年老後,不太可能还愛铁,血腥又暴力才是,,,??。
    對了,国外許多假人很会替刺殺大佬,作一切假像性,所以須快,对了,也很会印学歷或证或秘檔,,,喔。
    所以要賺要快,要名要利要快,国外對律很迷,,,So?。
    有沒有信心,,,糾不糾,还是評分数?或揪博土,,,??。

  27. Architect William Le Baron Jenney – created the load-bearing structural frame, which enabled taller buildings to be built. And he was an American born architect. So technically the USA did have the first example of skyscrapers and invented skyscrapers. And I hate that I am correcting you, since it supports something that Trump said… ugh dot dot dot yucky!?

  28. About skyscrapers:
    Imperor Nero (who wasn't that bad, fake news ain't no new thing) forbid after Rome's fire buildings higher than 80 ft.
    And people didn't like that 2000 years ago.
    Also check out italian clan towers in Florence and Milano in the renaissance.

  29. Best thing that ever happened to this economy. Go Trump. We love the job your doing and making all the liberal girls cry.

  30. Time Magazine asked Melania the first lady if she actually bleached her asshole and she replied "No, he spray tans Orange!"

  31. we need an alternative ….." trump library of shame" ……… preserve forever complete and …… truthful and non -edited version of the truth …… hard copy and videos of everything trump ……. someone has it all ……..

  32. Trump told reporters that he planned to have an American on the Sun by the year 2020. When challenged by the reporters, who said that an astronaut would burn up if they landed on the sun, he replied, "We have that all figured out. We're going at night."

  33. Please put tRump on Mars flight (with just enough fuel to almost get there) Oh! and no radio or video links.

  34. Wait til I see you in a restaurant 3terms for Trump three terms for Trump three terms for Trump three terms for Trump three terms for Trump three terms for Trump three terms for Trump three terms for Trump three terms for Trump three terms for Trump

  35. The reasons they tell you they can't impeach Trump is cuz he's a sitting president. Wasn't Clinton sitting or Nixon.Just more lies by Drunk Nancy of course you can impeach Trump if there were charges. Not your lies

  36. Hogan is not the brightest bulb on the tree ! Anyone that needs a handgun to kill an a possum is not okay in the head ! Baby I'm watching sorta – some video with your friends birthday ! And some nonsense unimportant things – what if you Gave them for a present a new president ????? Idk what the problem is ? Unless your with team trumpet ? Otherwise nothing else should matter anymore !

  37. How can an imbecile be expected to do anything actually good and do it well when he's sitting on the chests of desperate hopefuls in detention for the crime of being brown, dumping buckets of sand in their eyes…… ??

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *