The Saint Who Slaughtered A Village – A Space Alien Explains

The Saint Who Slaughtered A Village – A Space Alien Explains

March is Women’s History Month, so these
next couple episodes are gonna be centered around some of my favorite ladies in Earth’s
history. [So basically any woman with an astronomically
high body count?] Pft, that’s not my only standard! …But it is one of the big ones. So for this episode, we’re coming back strong. The lady we’ll be talking about today, um… WELL SHE LIVED ONE HELL OF A LIFE TO BE HONEST. She was a queen, a saint, and an all-around
badass who gave us what is undoubtedly one of the greatest revenge stories of all time. I’m Vibi, and on this episode of A Space
Alien Explains, Olga of Kiev. There isn’t much mention about Olga’s
early life. She was Pagan, reportedly from Pskov, Russia,
married Prince Igor of Kiev, and had a son with him sometime in the 900s. The first 45 or so years of her life weren’t
really all too interesting. But s*** goes from 0-100 in starting in the
year 945. A tribe known as the Drevlians had stopped
paying tribute to Olga’s husband Igor. Tribute is essentially “protection money.” Let’s say you got a mafia boss extorting
your business and the only way to make him NOT shoot you in the face is to give him some
cash. That’s pretty much what tribute was. So the Drevlians had been paying Igor’s
predecessors, but stopped when the last Prince died and started paying a nearby warlord instead. So Igor decided to pay the Drevlians a little
visit to get his tribute back. The Drevlians welcomed Igor by stretching
a lovely little hammock between two birch trees. But in this case, Igor was the hammock. HE’S DEAD. Olga must’ve been in a very happy marriage
because she was absolutely f***ing pissed. And the Drevlians, for some inconceivable
reason, didn’t think Olga would be that mad about them tearing her husband in half
with a tree. They even sent 20 of their best and brightest
to negotiate Olga’s marriage to the Drevlian Prince, which would give them control over
her empire. But Olga saw this as an opportunity to orchestrate
the magnum opus of “f*** yous” and give some real meaning to the saying “hell hath
no fury like a woman scorned.” She played nice. She welcomed the 20 ambassadors, who demanded
they be carried, while still sitting inside their boat, to Olga’s hall. And Olga’s men were like “Sure, whatever!” On the way to her castle, the ambassadors
were suddenly chucked into some huge friggin hole in the ground. Sometime before their arrival, Olga had ordered
a large trench to be dug, which the ambassadors, and their boats were now at the bottom of. Olga snarkily asked them if this honor was
to their taste before burying them alive. These things happen y’know? You got this big ass hole outta nowhere, and
the only way to fix it is by filling it with THE BODIES OF YOUR ENEMIES. But Olga wasn’t yet finished. She sent word back to the Drevlian prince
that she would marry him, but only if she had an escort made solely of his most distinguished
men to travel with her. So the Prince, who probably assumed those
ambassadors were just fine, sent a group of Drevlian chieftains. Olga did the same as before, she welcomed
them with open arms and even offered them some time at the bath houses. They gladly accepted and didn’t find it
suspicious that the bath houses only lock from the outside. She burned down the bath houses. But Olga wasn’t yet finished. She sent the Drevlian Prince another request. She was still interested in marriage but she
wanted the Drevlians to hold a great feast in honor of her late husband. The Prince, who wanted to keep Olga happy
so the marriage plans wouldn’t fall through, agreed. Olga and her soldiers arrived at the feast. She warned her men to stay alert, and waited
patiently until the Drevlians who had attended the party were completely drunk off their
asses. Olga then pulled the 10th century version
of a Thanos Snap, and her soldiers slaughtered the heavily inebriated Drevlians, bringing
her total body count to over 5000. Allegedly. Was Olga finished yet? NO. OLGA’S NEVER FINISHED. The Drevlians at this point were begging for
mercy. So Olga cut them a deal. “Tell ya what, if you give me 3 sparrows
and 3 pigeons from each house, I can forget this ever happened, okay?” The Drevlians just wanted this crazy b****
off their asses, so they brought her the birds. Olga gave the birds to her soldiers, and she
ordered them to tie some sulfur wrapped in cloth on the end of a thread, and then attach
it to the legs of the birds. That night, little sulfur pouches were lit
on fire and the birds were released. And here’s the thing with birds. They always go back home to where their nests
are. And where did these birds come from? The Drevlians’ homes were all burned, and
the captured survivors were either killed or given to Olga’s followers as slaves. And yes, Olga did get her tribute from the
survivors she left alone. And I know what you’re probably asking yourselves
at this point in the video. HOW THE HELL DID THIS PERSON GET SAINTHOOD? Olga did all this s*** BEFORE she converted
to Christianity. And after she was baptized, she told her people
to get baptized too. She actually spent a good portion of her reign
trying to make her empire a Christian nation, and the church commended her efforts. Y’know… despite the fact she slaughtered
and enslaved a whole tribe. As it goes to show, Planet Earth has a God
whose forgiveness is absolutely limitless. Which is why things like this are allowed
to exist. Hi everyone, thank you so much for watching,
and I hope you enjoyed this episode! I originally had more videos planned to celebrate
Women’s History Month, but a… Certain. Thing. Took up all my time. *COUGH* Anyways! This week’s featured fanart is by Boring_YT
on Twitter. Link to the artist’s page is in the description. And here’s some comments from the last video. If you’d like to support the channel, you
can do so by dropping a like and hitting that subscribe button. I also take art & animation commissions, and
I do have a Ko-Fi page as well! If you buy me a coffee through there, I’ll
make you a sketch as a way of saying thank you. Links to all that, as well as links to my
social media are in the description. Again, thanks for making it this far, and
I’ll see you real soon.

61 Replies to “The Saint Who Slaughtered A Village – A Space Alien Explains”

  1. Oh, let's go
    Steve walks warily down the street
    With the brim pulled way down low
    Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet,
    Machine guns ready to go
    Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this?
    Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
    Out of the doorway the bullets rip
    To the sound of the beat
    Another one bites the dust
    Another one bites the dust
    And another one gone, and another one gone
    Another one bites the dust
    Hey, I'm gonna get you, too
    Another one bites the dust
    How do you think I'm going to get along
    Without you when you're gone?
    You took me for everything that I had
    And kicked me out on my own
    Are you happy, are you satisfied?
    How long can you stand the heat?
    Out of the doorway the bullets rip
    To the sound of the beat
    Another one bites the dust
    Another one bites the dust
    And another one gone, and another one gone
    Another one bites the dust
    Hey, I'm gonna get you, too
    Another one bites the dust
    Oh take it
    Bite the dust
    Bite the dust
    Another one bites the dust
    Another one bites the dust oww
    Another one bites the dust hey hey
    Another one bites the dust eh eh
    Oh shooter
    There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man
    And bring him to the ground
    You can beat him, you can cheat him
    You can treat him bad and leave him when he's down
    But I'm ready, yes, I'm ready for you
    I'm standing on my own two feet
    Out of the doorway the bullets rip
    Repeating to the sound of the beat oh yeah
    Another one bites the dust
    Another one bites the dust
    And another one gone, and another one gone
    Another one bites the dust
    Hey, I'm gonna get you, too
    Another one bites the dust
    Oh shooter hey hey, all right

  2. So whats it ganna take to join this alien crew?
    Also will you ever talk about the dyatlov pass isncedent? I find it really interesting and i think you might aswell :3

  3. hmmm so what i learned from this is that if you want to get rid of your enemies dig a hole and bury your enemies in them or tie flaming cloth bags of sulfur to birds to burn down your enemies entire village then redeem yourself of your evil ways of sin by pretending you have not committed slaughter to live a good life as a saint……….this needs to be made into a movie XD

  4. Nice seeing a new video from you. love your videos, art, and voice. Also Happy Women's Month. Cute alien to.

  5. Everyone is is wondering how the hell she pulled it off, while I’m wondering how the hell do you only have 3 thousand subscribers?!? 🤔

  6. Got it. Moral of the story is to not murder the psycho lady’s husband. Or at least make sure to finish the job. (no survivors, no witnesses)

  7. This is why you never ever piss off a woman. A man will just kill you and be done with it. A woman will destroy your life and everyone near you life. And laugh while she is doing it.

  8. she's like mercy haha sure mercy sounds like a fun idea *ordering murders behind there back like a savage no big deal *

  9. LMAO
    As soon as you spread Jesus around like peanut butter on toast the church is like YOU SAINT even if u murk 5000+ people

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