[beep] Hi, sorry if that last message sounded alarming, I didn’t mean to scare you, I promise everything’s fine. I’m just a little worked up because… what do you do if you find out that someone did something bad? Like really really bad, and they never owned up to it? Like… what if they might do something bad to me too? Um, I don’t mean to scare you, I mean, everything’s completely fine, I just… I don’t know. Um, call me back please. Bye. [beep] Hi, ok, sorry for all the messages, but I just wanted to call again to make sure that you knew that the bad thing that the person did was like a really long time ago. Like a really really long time ago. So it’s not something that will probably happen again… but I don’t know, maybe it might. I don’t know– I just don’t know if it’s ok to associate with a person that would do something this bad and not own up to it. Like hurt a friend and not say anything about it. Like should I stick around and try to make them a better person or should I maybe just get out while I can? Ugh, I don’t know. Um. Yeah if you could just call me back, yeah, please, I… I love you, I promise I’m safe, I’m fine, everything’s ok, I just– I love you, please call me back, ok bye. [beep] Ok so I thought about it and I think maybe that I’m overreacting… Like I said, it happened a really long time ago so maybe it’s not even a big deal anymore. So yeah, don’t worry about me, I’m ok, it’ll be fine, um, I’ll talk to you later. Ok. Love you. Bye. [beep] So being cautious isn’t technically overreacting, that’s just me watching out for myself. So it’s probably best to just get out of the situation altogether, right? Ok. Yes. I’ll call you back. Bye. [beep] Ok, sorry, this is the last message I promise. I think I’m just worked up about nothing. I’m just overreacting and if I just calm down everything will be fine. I know what to look out for so if I’m just cautious it’ll be ok, right? Yeah. Besides, I think I’d rather be on the right side of this kind of person than on the wrong side, right? Yeah. I think. Maybe. I don’t know. But I’ll be fine. Um, sorry I left you so many messages, uh, just call me back when you can like tomorrow or some time, I don’t know. I love you. Bye. Zoe is insisting that if she’s going to continue to work for me, that I need to learn how to interact with humans better. Which would make… uh… EVERYBODY IN MY LIFE getting on my case about that. Alex has assured her that they have been trying to teach me for months, but Zoe says there are some things you can “only learn from the source”. ZOE: Ok, so we do have a few human subjects. They graciously volunteered because I may or may not have told them that they were getting research credit… But we’re going to pull them in one by one and the goal is for you to get through a conversation with them. Politely. So I made you these questions. And you should be fine. Ready? Ok. First volunteer please! Hi. [to Blair] Introduce yourself. BLAIR: I am Blair, daugher of– ZOE: Blair. Just Blair will be fine. Let’s go with Blair. And stand up, shake her hand. BLAIR: I am Blair. JENNY: [unsure] I’m Jenny, how are you? ZOE: [whispering] Say, “I’m fine, and you?” BLAIR: I’m fine, and you? JENNY: I’m good! BLAIR: How are your classes going? JENNY: They’re good! I have to study for a calc exam I have coming up. The professor is really hard, and he doesn’t even curve. ZOE: Smile… look encouraging… something. BLAIR: Well, that’s really just… I can’t do it! Nope! ZOE: Yes you can! Read the next question! BLAIR: Have you read any good books lately? JENNY: Actually, my little sister got me into this series, the Percy Jackson series, it’s really good. BLAIR: [strained] Is it? I haven’t read it. JENNY: Oh, you should! It’s really educational. BLAIR: EDUCATIONAL?! [laughs] ZOE: [scolding] No no no! No blowing up the volunteers! ALEX: But I thought it was going really well up until then! BLAIR: See? ZOE: Bring her back. BLAIR: Ugh, but it’s such a drain on my energy to do that. ZOE: Well, you should have thought about that before. Bring her back. [Blair sighs] ZOE: Go on! ZOE: Hi, ok, thank you, that’ll be all for today. And if you wouldn’t mind telling the rest of the volunteers that we won’t need them today, we’ve canceled the rest of the session, that would be great. We’ll send you an email with the updates! Bye. Ok, so, human subjects was not the best idea… Alex! You’re our new volunteer. ALEX: Yes!! BLAIR: You know I don’t think this is gonna work. ZOE: You don’t have enough faith in me. [singing] Somehow I’ll make… a human… out of you. BLAIR: What? ZOE: Nothing. Let’s get down to business. [upbeat music] ZOE: Yes. Perfect.