Namaste Everybody, Lisa A. Romano the here the
breakthrough life coach and today I want to address something that I think a lot
of us go through but I haven’t had or heard anyone talk about it it has
recently surfaced in my 12 would break the coaching program and very often
times when one person is struggling with something
we’re it turns out that many of us are I wanted to talk about how when we begin
to awaken to what has happened to us in our history and for the first time we
get it we begin exploring the idea that we have been in fact wounded and abused
and forsaken and all that wonderful stuff when we first started knowledge
includes a times rather than feeling like liberated or excited about
discovering the truth why it is that very often times we feel depressed why
it is often times that on the healing path when just when we think that we
figured it out why do we sometimes just want to retreat into ourselves why do we
feel like we want to be alone why do we feel like we don’t want to talk to
anybody why do we feel like we can’t go out and be around crowds why is why is
it happening so when I began to awaken and I began to acknowledge that there
was a lot of dysfunction not only in my family obviously but within myself and
my marriage and also I realized how I had affected my own children while I was
unaware I was unaware when I began to awaken to all of this stuff I wasn’t
doing cartwheels you know there was a part of me that was like yes I finally
figured it out it’s not me I’m codependent and like
you know there has to be a way out of this that was great but the other side
of it was it felt like I was being let down like what what does this mean and
there was a period of time where I felt like I needed to just retreat I felt
like I needed to just like I said earlier cocooned myself and I couldn’t
put my finger on it then all I knew at the time was that I have been
conditioned to ignore how I felt and I knew that people who came from healthy
homes didn’t have it experienced people who came from healthy homes felt seen
and I felt invisible and I felt unworthy and I felt not good enough and thus
codependent and like I was always waiting for somebody on the outside to
tell me that I was good enough that was my experience well into my 30s and so I
knew I had to accept how I felt which was rather depressed and rather full of
like you know just anxiety over being with other people I felt a very strong
desire to be by myself and at the time like I said I didn’t understand exactly
what was coming through but I was accepting it over the years I think I
figured out what that might have been about I think what happens to us is that
when we go for so long feeling invisible and when we go for so long feeling like
the wounds that we feel on a somatic level are there but we don’t know how to
acknowledge them there is some level of protection or denial about what’s really
happened to us and because the sometimes very often times when you come from a
dysfunctional home nobody’s telling the truth you could be sexually abused you
could tell your mother and your father that someone so sexually abused you and
they’re like maybe he made a mistake or maybe she
mean to do that or maybe it was a dream or whatever and so you have this
experience and yet you know you could have people in your reality who don’t
know what to do with that information or they they have been sexually abused or
they are abusers let’s say and they don’t know how to face the truth and
they don’t know they don’t know or they don’t want to face this truth right and
so here you are you have this incredible injury and your body has stored the
visceral memory and the somatic experience and the physiological
responses to this experience fear terror and all of that and but your whole life
you’ve been told it didn’t happen so it’s sort of like you’ve had you haven’t
been permitted to experience this experience it’s the unexperienced
experience and then you happen upon the healing path and you’re doing recovery
work and you’re working with the trauma specialist or you know you’re doing a
meditation or you’re working with a life coach or taking a program like my own
and you’re learning to acknowledge your experiences and to feel them right and
to process them right and not judge them and all of a sudden you know you’re
starting to feel like pull down from this experience and you don’t want to
talk to people and you know you don’t have much energy for cooking and you
love your kids but you don’t have much energy to like how was your day and
everything that’s gone you’re just kind of like flat like I’m sad this is the
way I feel and I can’t pretend this is how I feel that’s very normal and it’s
valid it’s sort of like when you know I just said this and one of my group my
Facebook groups it’s sort of like you know you’ve gone your whole life with
all of these bruises and all these scars just below the surface and not even you
can see them because you’re out a world the mirror
that you’re looking you’re looking into the eyes of these people that you love
and no one is mirroring back to you oh my god I I can’t believe that you’ve
been so wounded this is so terrible in fact everybody is denying it when this
happens when there is an invalidation when you
were looking into the eyes of the soul the eyes of other people which are the
windows of the soul and you’re looking into these people’s eyes and this idea
but this didn’t happen you weren’t abused I don’t know what you’re talking
about it’s just a drama queen you know you just made that up you know you’re
dreaming that when that is what you see what happens I feel is there’s an
invalidation a serious invalidation of your experience and whether we recognize
it or not we are being conditioned to invalidate our own experience so without
this other I think the other is very important you know and I think that the
witnessing is extremely important and we are supposed to be validated and feel
seen by people from the outside I believe that helps turn on the mirror
neurons to the you know in our brains to the self how do I know I have a self I
know I have a self because you recognize the self in me right so I have a mother
who recognized that I have a self how does she do that by acknowledging I have
feelings by acknowledging the expressions on my face by paying
attention to my homework by showing up for PTA meetings by representing herself
as somebody who’s got my back that is how I develop an I I matter but without
that experience being a child who’s grown up in an environment where I’m not
being attuned to I am floundering as an identity
I cannot grab on to will find the space to create my I I don’t have it and so
when that is your experience and there has been trauma and there has been abuse
and there is no healthy mirror there is no one saying that should have never
happened your father should have never touched
you that way your stepfather should have never done that to you your mother
should have never ignored that you know your brother should have never said that
your sister should have never done that your grandfather your grandmother
whoever these people are these adults that abuse
their power over you this should have never happened if you don’t have that
experience a teacher a coach somebody from the church somebody to say to you
you’re not crazy this should have never happened then what happens is there’s a
denial of your own experience and it it can make you even though it makes you
feel like wobbly like you think this happened you have this internal reality
but everybody keeps telling me it didn’t happen there’s a sense of for lack of a
better word a sense of protection in there like because we’re not really
acknowledging the trauma right and then we happen upon you know we’re on the
Enlightenment path where it which is bittersweet and we’re doing recovery
work and we begin to acknowledge what has happened to us and suddenly we feel
this low like what is happening to me I think what we’re experiencing is the
experiences we weren’t allowed to experience but we’re also grieving for
the first time in our life psychologically and cognitively right
we’re acknowledging we’ve been wounded we’re acknowledging like this actually
happened we are in a very sacred beautiful place that that in my opinion
is very important when it comes to integration before I can integrate I
have to acknowledge my I Who I am and before I can integrate I have to
acknowledge what’s happened to me right I don’t have to get stuck there but I
have to acknowledge my experiences I have to learn what it feels like to be
me I have to understand what has happened
to me I have to learn how not to fear what has been downloaded into me right
that is all necessary when it comes to integration when you have spent your
whole life detached from your experiences right not your fault
no one acknowledged them and then you’re suddenly acknowledging your experiences
you are suddenly going to feel a drop and you may
wish to cocoon yourself and I think what’s happening is grief and
acknowledgement of loss and integration right there’s a lot happening so it’s
almost like one part of the mind that was kind of like maybe this didn’t
happen or I think I feel this but maybe I’m not so sure all of a sudden you know
that begins to dissolve and there’s like this integration of wow that really did
happen like oh my god that really happened you know I really was that
abuse like that really happened you know and we end up feeling very raw and in
those moments sometimes I’ve had clients say to me I idealized my mother my whole
life you know I idealized my father my whole life you know because he what my
mother was the more verbal one and she was more verbally abusive
you know I deal I idealize my father but now I’m realizing my father was an
alcoholic and he spent his money gambling and that’s a lot of the reason
why my mother was so angry and she felt stuck and you know whatever you know all
of a sudden when this stuff starts to happen and you’re starting to see family
dynamics more clearly and not through the lens of a frightened in a child who
was trying to cling to one parent you know because the idea that both parents
are you know messed up is too frightening right so the need to
idealize at least one parent is very very common and when you start
recognizing what’s really happened to you on your path you know and what
happened to you at when you were a little child you know there’s a lot
going on you know we’re not doing cartwheels yay I figured it out you know
my dad was an alcoholic and a gambler and it was cheating on my mom but I
didn’t really know that when I was six all I knew was that my dad was happy all
the time I didn’t know he was drunk you know I didn’t know he just got laid I
didn’t know that I didn’t know that my mom was making making food for my father
and she was pissed off since she’s screaming and throwing
things because he was cheating on her and there was no more money and he said
he was gonna come home and come home all I saw was this angry woman so as a
six-year-old I think mommy’s the problem you know you don’t do cartwheels when
you store it that starts hitting you what happens is it’s like rapid fire
sometimes it’s like these layers are just coming off and coming off and
coming off and it’s like all of this these years of brain fog that you’ve
lived in trying to figure out how you felt all of a sudden the pieces of the
puzzle start to fall into place and it I’m telling you it’s very common for you
to want to isolate you know suddenly this it’s you look in the mirror and
your vision has changed suddenly you you one day you had no bruises when you
looked in the mirror and the next day you’re like I’m full of scars and I’m
full of wounds and I remember when this happened I remember when that happened
you know and all this shit really really happened I’m not crazy you know that can
make you feel like you need to surround yourself in your own love it could make
you feel like you need to pull back it can make you feel like there aren’t many
people who can understand what you’re going through and you know what you
might that might be valid there might be and there might not be a whole bunch of
people in your experience that are going to a be able to witness for you but then
again you might be lucky enough to have one person that could say you know you
know what you know you know what sue like I can understand what you’re going
through that’s terrible I understand exactly why you need to pull back right
now we recognize you know what we’re going through so what we’re trying to
accomplish as human beings is basically integration which is we’re trying to
integrate the past with what we’re experiencing then now we’re trying to
understand our now why do I do what I do say what I do and behave the way I do
and feel the way I do why do i vibrate and resonate with this I don’t want this
but what is this meaning my 3d reality why does that keep showing up if you
don’t like what’s showing up for the 3d reality then you need to stop and ask
yourself why you think what showing up as showing up and I can tell
you that what’s showing up is a mirror to what you’ve experienced in the past
now that’s not bad news because we can as creators incarnate we can actually
change what’s happening in the matrix we can actually change what’s happening
outside of ourselves in the 3d world but not until we learn how to master what’s
happening to us in the mind in the metaphysical world not until we can
change the messages and that we are streaming to the pineal gland and we can
change what were what we’re resonating with and once we change our resonance
that we resonate with different things that’s when our outer world will begin
to show evidence to us that we’ve actually changed because what’s showing
up if I’m having resistance in the outer world that means there’s resistance
inside of me and most often the times the resistance is related to some type
of cognitive dissonance so cognitive dissonance represents you know it’s a
nice fancy word for to explain psychological dissonance where I’m
holding two conflicting beliefs about one thing at the same time so I want to
love myself but I don’t think that I’m worthy
I want to attract abundance but I’m not sure that I have the ability to create
abundance right I want to be happy but I’m not sure that you know anybody’s
really happy you know I want to be free of this relationship but I’m really
afraid of what the neighbors are gonna think I want to try a different career
path but you know what I went to school for six years and I have a degree and
I’m not I’m not so sure I’ll be able to make money doing this other thing that’s
cognitive dissonance and so what will happen is let’s say you know I want to
change your career paths if I have cognitive dissonance over doing so then
my current life experience will will be problematic and there’ll be lots of
resistance lots of resistance that’s because I’m not lined up with what I
really really want that’s because their reality a over here a reality here I
want reality be but I don’t know I’m in not in alignment with reality Bay right
so all the messages in my mind are I can’t do that I
do that this is why I can’t do that and so I am not in alignment with what I
really really want there is resistance to what I really want there is
resistance to my believing that I can create what I really really want and so
in the real world in the 3d world I will experience resistance on many many
different levels until I finally go non resistant to what I feel and what I want
and I begin to act in the 3d world upon that which I desire if you want to
experience abundance and you must believe that you’re worthy and you have
to act on that you know that is like that is like creating a clear channel to
the universe like hey this is what I want and this is this is me proving that
I am worthy of this and in a short amount of time you shall attract what
you desire as long as you stay in alignment and run on resistance to what
you really want oh you’re on the healing path it’s really important to recognize
this idea of going on resistant to how you feel and embracing the path as you
go so while you’re on the healing path just remember that you know when you
discover something I call it a pop a pocket of pain when you discover the
truth and it could be that you really were abused right and all these years
you your family told you that you were crazy or whatever and you realize you
really come to the realization that this was messed up like I was really abused
you know accept how you feel so if you need to watch Netflix all weekend if you
need to make yourself some chicken soup if you need to you know tell your
friends you need a break listen to yourself be non resistant to
what is you know embrace what is love yourself love your inner child you know
waking up you know in the morning and looking in the mirror and seeing the
black eyes and seeing the scars in your body that’s difficult you know facing
our truth is difficult and there is a sense of loss there and there is a sense
of grief you know that is mixed with relief when we realize that we have been
abused it’s never a fun process to recognize that you have experienced
something traumatic in the past that you may have once denied
it’s never a fun process but it is part of the process you know we’ve come to
come full circle we’ve come to acknowledged what’s happenin the now
acknowledge how our past has created this now experience so that we can
become non resistant to how we feel what is and in the past so that we can
successfully in manifest what we desire truly and what our soul is in alignment
with in the future and so for us to come you know full circle and become
energetic beings that are in alignment with with our souls desire then the
healing path is all part of that process I am NOT one that believes that you can
just forget the past I think that you actually it’s it’s activated inside of
you and until it’s released and almost neutralized through the healing process
then it’s still activated inside of you and there’s always just so so far you’ll
be able to go and even if you achieve certain successes on some level there’s
this resonance this this this a part of you that you’ve not been able to heal is
still activated so I think our goal is to wish to as much as possible heal
whatever activated energies we have within our being that maybe holding us
down and having us resonate with the frequency with something that we don’t
want to attract it could be attracting narcissistic
people into our lives or you know we resonate with dysfunction or we resonate
with resistance you know the goal is to really neutralize those vibrations
within our being so that we can come into full integration and learn what it
is to keep our bodies calm and then to create visions in our head that match
our future desired reality and then you know it’s all about mastery right so
then once I get to that level then my job is to be able to stay in a state of
anticipation of or even receptivity almost absolutely living as if what I’ve
already what I I’ve already experienced so it’s not
I’ll be happy when I get the job where I’ll be happy when I find love or I’ll
be happy when I’m no longer when my cancer is in remission I’ll be happy
when my son does this I’ll be happy when I do that or when I get that no you have
to be happy now you have to imagine that what you what you wish to experience has
already manifested because what we think about and what we’re resonating with
we’re actually bringing about good bad beautiful or ugly and you know it’s it’s
not that the universe is doing anything wrong
the universe is lining us up two by two so vibration with vibration reality
internal reality with external reality as it is below so shall it be above
we’re trying to learn how to master all of that and the healing path and
recognizing what’s happened in the path so that we can process it release it and
neutralize the energy related to it in our bodies is essential if we want to
become clear paths and strongly magnetized for love abundance
contentment and peace which is every Souls birthright thank you so much for
being here if you don’t know about some of the things that I offer I have a
12-week class I have an eight-week master class which was a lot of
Attraction class I also have a membership monthly membership site that
you can participate in you know I just love creating products that allow people
to find their light you know and help them shine it brightly thank you so much
for being here dear ones namaste as I bow to the love and the light that is
absolutely in you bye for now you

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