Honest Trailers – Moana

Honest Trailers – Moana

Are you ready for a new kind of Disney movie? Full of strong female characters, no forced romantic sub-plots, and a celebration of Polynesian culture? Then you’ll love… …Lilo and Stitch. “Did not see that coming.” Oh, and probably also Moana. Meet Moana, a strong, determined young woman who won’t stop until she gets the job done. “I am Moana.” “You will board my boat, sail across the sea,” “and restore the heart of Te Fiti.” Who after 90 minutes of adventure becomes a strong, determined young woman who won’t stop until she gets the job done. “I am Moana.” “You will board my board, sail across the sea,” “and restore the heart of Te Fiti.” She’s indestructible, she’s fearless, and she’s got water powers just as confusing and vague as Elsa’s ice magic in Frozen. So wait, does she have any water powers at all? Or does it only protect whoever has the glowy thing? And if the ocean has her back, why does it keep trying to drown her? “Help me!” Follow along on Moana’s quest to save her homeland, by following a super obvious sign “Maui lies there.” in a journey that pokes fun at all of Disney’s usual tropes “If you wear a dress, and you have an animal sidekick, you’re a princess!” “If you start singing, I’m gonna throw up.” while at the same time being 100% guilty of them. From her cute animal sidekicks, to her grand-Mufasa, to her genie, Maui, an all-powerful, charismatic, brawling, tattooed demi-god. So pretty much, The Rock. Enjoy the highest honor a culture can receive these days having your traditions commodified by the Disney corporation. And watch as the Polynesian people, who traveled between islands thousands of miles apart thousands of years ago, are represented by paranoid coconut lovers who would rather starve to death than sail past a three-foot break. “We were voyagers. We can voyage again!” Haole for effort, I guess. So enjoy a film with a soundtrack people can’t stop gushing about because the guy from Hamilton is involved and not even the ocean gushes as hard as Hamilton fans. Featuring songs like: The “They’re really into coconuts” song The “Uh oh, we’re making the Rock sing” song? The “Let it Go”-ish song And, the “Beautiful song in a foreign language that could be saying anything” song I hope you liked that one, because it turns out it’s really freaking hard to find a Tokelauan translator. Okay, so wait a second. Rapunzel has demon hair, Elsa has ice powers, and Moana is a water bender?! Are we building up to Disney’s Princess Avengers? *manly squee*

100 Replies to “Honest Trailers – Moana”

  1. Has anyone noticed for the G-PG trailers, he talks in a lighter voice compared to the PG-13 and R trailers?

  2. Fun fact: The ancient Polynesian wayfinders did, in fact, suddenly and inexplicably stop voyaging for about a thousand years before returning to traveling the sea. No explanation has ever been found for this.

  3. Honestly every single song from Disney movie its ten times beter at greec and i can aprove that because i am and live in greece

  4. I was just thinking how hard it must've been to find a translator! And the Disney Princess Avengers and Troy Polamalu jokes? Rolling.

  5. No mention of the weird title change? In European countries, the title was changed to Vaiana, apparently because Moana is the name of an Italian porn actress. Well, I didn't know about her before, but thank you, Disney, that in your attempt to avoid association with a porn star, you have made us aware of her. 😊

  6. 3:24 Frozen is a already a clone in the first place though. Let it go is just lazy written and a run-of-the-mine song

  7. If I want to know about a movie, I come here. Because the trailers are usually better than the movie.

  8. 0:10 Right, because it's not like strong female characters without a romantic subplot have been done before.

  9. Dwayne is a good singer and I find it semi-annoying, semi funny that you made a joke because no one knew he could. Except old time, pre-movie Dwayne fans, that is.

  10. Finally someone agrees with my theory that Moana is a water bender despite the fact that the water bender tribe lives in a glacier

  11. 2:48 as a singer, thats stupid as fuck cuz i heard him sing on journey 2: the mysterious island, and that wasnt edited like an actual soundtrack

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