Welcome to Heaven, my son! We were expecting you.
I came to see you myself. Thank you very much, Lord.
Heaven is looking great. Thank you.
It does look great. Wait until you see more.
Come meet a friend of mine. Fito! Rubén, Fito. Fito, Rubén. Give him the deluxe tour,
with all the stories you like to tell. -It’s Hitler.
-Yes, but here we call him Fito. -Why is he here?
-He lives here. Maybe you don’t know,
but he was a huge son of a bitch. He committed awful crimes
against humanity. Yeah, my behavior wasn’t great.
I won’t deny that. -You messed up a bit.
-Just a bit. He’s History’s
worst genocidal. After me. Don’t take that
away from me. But he repented. That’s that.
I’m a romantic. It’s every man for himself,
right? Lord, can I see my mother? -She’s chubby, a bit short…
-Martita. Yes. -She’s in Hell.
-What? She was super Catholic. Yes, but she ate meat
during Lent. But she loved all people. Indeed, and I fought hard
for her, right? -Yeah, I remember.
-Yeah. But each piece of meat
was like getting my back whipped. But she had nothing to do
with the crimes committed by… Fito, but… -What about my father?
-He’s Satan’s lapdog. He worked in a holy day. We were 9 brothers!
Can’t you cut him some slack? It’s in the Old Testament.
Sorry. Then can I meet Gandhi? -He was Hindu.
-Martin Luther King? -Protestant.
-Princess Diana? -She wasn’t a princess.
-George Michael? -But he was.
-Juan Gabriel? -He’s not dead.
-I knew it! I knew it.
Is there anyone here I know? Your uncle Héctor. -He molested me.
-But he repented. Ah… It’s still a crime. Oh, stop saying
everything is a crime! You should learn to forgive. Or do you want
to spend some time in Purgatory? -No.
-Good. So calm down, relax.
You’re in Heaven. Let me get you a glass of water.
Sit down. You’ll love a friend
of your uncle’s. Maciel! Mussolini! “Ciao, ragazzi”. “Joder, Franco”, my man! Olé! See you soon.