18 årig skatterfis blev martyr

18 årig skatterfis blev martyr


According to the the danish security service, 110 danes have gone to Syria and Irak. Around half of them have return and up 17 of them have been killed. The mother of one of them has for the first time agreed to go open with the story. Karolina Dam’s son Lukas, age 18 years old, was one of the syrien fighters. Karolina, at the moment the topic is a politically sensitive issue and for relatives its obviously a more sensitive issue What are the reasons for why you decided to go public Its time to go public….. its time to put a face behind the grief and frustration that i and many other parents are in the middle of. we will get back to the grief and frustration, but lets take it from the beginning, you are Lukas’ mother could you tell us a bit about who Lukas was Lukas is a loving and caring boy, he is my everything my first born. However he is going through rough times as he is struggling. he is diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome and has ADD and that means for him that he always had to work hard his hole live to be understood just to be Lukas, and that has been hard for him. He has been thrown around the system bc there wasn’t enough resources towards the schools with diagnosed kids and only with very few spots for inlisting them not enough resources towards the professional mentors, teachers its not been easy for him so Lukas has been working hard all his childhood and teenage years and around age of 15 he converts to Islam what is your experience in the time after he converted? eh, difficalt and yet good, his behavior changes radically not from one day to the next but gradually over time things that once were a struggle – all of a sudden wasn’t, finds its place so to speak what are the things about Islam, that he finds peace with? well i think the significant thing is that he finds room in lukas for lukas he changes, and becomes more aware of other people. He’s more active in his own life he takes training and becomes a fitness instructor he works a lot with his own training. All of a sudden he’s got an appetite on life and other people that he never had before So he finds peace but at the same time a lot of controversy begins to arise between him and you Try to desribe some of the subjects that become issues between the two of you well to be a non muslim family and change to be a non muslim family with a muslim – needs adjustments it requires some changes and requires understanding Well basically it all comes down to making room for everyone and making sure everyone’s ok. but it has not been without challenges visiting the moskee at night time – one of Lukas’ goals was to get Halal meat inside the house, throw non halal in the bin. tried to push the rest of us to eat halal and its hard to be in the middle of a situation where i on one hand agnollage my son, want to help him and accommodate and respect his choice and on the other hand need to make sure that the rest of us don’t get pushed into situations we don’t want or don’t believe in and that here, in this house, we eat bacon at sunday brunches. or sausages or pork roast on christmas day Do you feel that the issues are becoming more and more hefty? oh yes, and he wants more and more changes around the house as time goes by soap or lotion without alcohol, a specific toothpaste but i didn’t see that as a problem i might as well have had a daughter, that wanted a certain hair conditioner ect. but all the issues are why we had to think diffrently about daily life than we did before he converted. the kitchen countertops – if we are cooking both, the one on this side is for pork, the other one is for halal i won’t cook with halal meat, he can do it him self. I don’t want to be a part of that. he has his own drawer in the freezer but we had to discuss everything – oven, countertops, new pots and pans at the end we gained a mutual trust and agreement on how to cook So Lukas at age 18, runs off to Syria late may last year and during the first months, according to information given to the news paper Politiken, he was working with aid in camps before around late fall when he engages himself at the Islamic State, and joins their brigades What happens after Lukas runs off, did you file a missing persons case? well, yes and the authority knew that he was in risk of going and that he had left he ran off, i wasn’t aware that he was gone. He called me a few days later and i knew… he had been talking a lot about it before he left, that he couldn’t just sit here and do nothing he had to help his brothers and sisters and we raise our children to help others, we collect money for organizations knit socks for the homeless people collect things, and we are brought up to help others so for my son to raise money for Syria while he was here in DK or that he goes down to Turkey to help with aid – thats a good thing and I’m proud of my boy, that he is putting his own life on hold just to help others the fact that he became a part of ISIS – i know nothing about until he was announced a martyr but i was scared that it could happen i was scared shit that he could be manipulated and be brainwashed Do you feel that Lukas is living a double life? absolutly well now i do In what way? the more i find out about him from people, and the more i get to know this side of him i see the huge factor of him living a double life and i think a lot of other parents see as well they have been trained on how to interact with how to talk with others, and what not to mention how to get away from various situations so this double life dosnt get detected but they are living a double life to find this out, after my son is…… allegedly killed that he can speak arabic, that he can write in arabic thats……… a punch in the face You didn’t know he knew arabic? i knew that he could speak a bit, that he was attending an arabic class but i didn’t …… he never share much information with us if we where out and about and he meet someone he knew, he whispered something in arabic to them Let me go back to Lukas’ journey in Syria Are you talking with him while he is there yes, we talk on Viber we should mention that Viber is a tele program where you can send messages back and forth and call as well like Skype What are you talking with Lukas about well, we talk about all sorts of things he askes: what did you have for dinner how are the cats doing? i send him pictures of the cats and tell him things send him sound files of the cats purring all to put pressure and to kind of wake him up, to make him miss us so he will come home everytime i talk with him i ask him: when are you coming home in the 7 months that he was there…. i tried to get him to come home While i at the same time thought that him wanting to help others was a good thing – i just wanted my boy home and i told him one time, that you need to come home. You need to recharge what you are experiencing down there, you need to put it a side every once and a while and recharge again so that you can give more and do it again and then you can go down again, even that i won’t want him to… i just wanted to say it so he would come home but i tried to ask him about everything but he wouldn’t tell me anything, he was a closed book. You where talking with Lukas mid december, can you remember the last time you talked with him? yes What are you talking about? about anything and nothing. What have you been doing today – nothing. Then i heard someone in the back, Who is that – no one How are you doing, i love you. We talk about the daily stuff but the connection is always crappy on Viber so it always is chatting, talking, chatting and then recalling i asked him before christmas that i had some vacation time and asked him to come home to chill a bit he said, i can’t tell you when I’m coming home because i simply don’t know And then during christmas last year, the town called Kobané also known as Ein Al-Arab is heavily attacked by the coalition with bombs and by all accounts Lukas losses his life in the fight for Islamic State during those days do you fell a lack of help in the time after this, that you need help on venting the grief and frustration that you must be felling as a parent receiving the devastating news absolutly tbt, when your in the middle of this nightmare….. i feel I’m all alone im in a hole and i can’t feel anyone around me i need to talk with other parents, that have experienced similar situations but the Ministry of Foreign Affairs were not talking about other parents, in fact they gave us a feeling that we where all alone, and i felt a huge tabu, and you can’t just talk with Tom, Dick and Harry about this stuff because they don’t understand it when i realized how big this was, and how many parents and young kids there are that are involved in these cases…. i was shocked really shocked….. i can’t understand that the athouryties havn’t covered this i can’t understand that there isn’t a parents group on Sjælland that i have to go to Aarhus a monday evening to go to a meeting with other parents Just to clarify, Aarhus region have a parents group for parents of Syrien fighters and Copenhagen dosnt atm have a group, lets get back to that well you could also say around getting help from authorities, or lack of the issues regarding a death certificate – i as a parent are in the middle of a fight between Foreign Affairs and Danish Security and Intelligence Service about who has the task of finding out if my son is dead or not I’m thinking, my boy is in nomansland, he’s not dead, not alive and not missing. there is no missing person case on him – then your bloody well left on your own. This death certificate, the legal statement that officially states that a person is dead you have not been able to get it because they won’t be able to find a location on where Lukas’s body is What kind of problems has that created? we need a body to declare someone dead and thats not an easy thing to come by when the body is in a war zone or as what allegedly has happened to my son, that he is blown up. but in regards on going through the grief of a death we need a funeral, we need to end the cirkel we need…. I need to get on with my life in a more natural and human way but instead, he is still in nomansland. I can’t close his bank account i can’t shut his Facebook profile down because i haven’t got the death certificate that is required to do so and as long as i can’t do that – i could potentially contribute financially to a terrorist organization as they have access to his bank account. We know for a fact that they hand over there bank card and code and we know, that they have a ritual where they burn there passport or hand it over His Facebook profile, that is active again, can be used to recruit others how is it that my son’s alleged death can’t be ended appropriately? i shouldn’t as a parent have to worrie about all those thing i have enough to think about regarding my grief about my son your grief regarding your sons alleged death as you said, can be used, towards helping other parents to get through their grief based on your experience about Lukas and the changes you have seen Would you say that, for parents of young radicalized boys or girls that there are signals they should be aware of ? Its not only about parents and what they need to do its about everyone that is in contact with the young people on a daily basis.The schools as well and what we know today, what i know as a parent, is massive compared to what i knew back then looking back – every bell should have rung but it can at the same time be hard to detect because a lot of the things he had said and done are your average teenager behaviors things like, sudden attitudes towards a hypocritical democracy that some go quite, others get more aggressive beard growing, and we need to be car full and not to label everyone that is growing a beard, they are not necessarily radicalized youth but those are some of the signals. Food issues – argue about what i wear in public. Mum please put on something to shield your shoulder these are all simple things, but put together and joint to a list – they become the signals we need to be aware of those are some of the things we need, as parents, as professionals that work with youth on a daily basis and we can’t afford to be afraid to ask them the questions yes, and some would probably think, its not only the community and the authorities to blame the parents have a huge responsibility, whats your view on that? My son=my responsibility! For sure and i am not disclaiming my responsibility at all I’m missing a “joint” responsibility, how come no one else knows the things i know? im not saying that as a community we have to carry everyone, but we need to have some human considerations we need to take it in to consideration, we need to use the information thats out there and find out how we can use it so this doesn’t happen again we need to take responsibility, we need to put pressure on the authorities to make sure that resources are given to the places that need them we provide towards alcoholics and everything else…. this is just another thing we need to do but its a very important thing the fact that 150 young people have gone – thats 150 too much that 20 are dead or how many there are now – that 20 too much we could try to stop this with other methods and as long as we don’t have the transparency within the authorities as long as the authorities are not on the same page and working together as long as we are not making sure the knowledge is given to the right people – we are not doing a good job The Aarhus model is way ahead from VINK how come they don’t use more resources in VINK? Aarhus model is the deradicalization unit in Aarhus and VINK is the deradicalization unit in Copenhagen before we talk about what can be done in other places than in Aarhus i would like to ask you if you are in contact with other parents of young ppl whom have gone to Syria or Irak to fight? yes, but not enough i want and need to join all parents in a parent group so they have a place where they can vent and seek comfort, even if its 11pm where as official places close at 3am thats what i need, to help me, to help Lukas, to help the rest of my little family and the other parents. I need it to help me through my grief You need a national group for parents of young kids that have gone to Syria? yes… yes i do Why? because we can combine all our questions and as a group we can get help on the issues Listen… all i have got is a Facebook status about my sons alleged death where he is claimed Martyr A Facebook status!! THATS what i have got. and i talk with ISIS fighters, i talk with you i am told things and the things that i, as a mother, have to go through to get information about my son its inhuman its really inhuman and the things i see and the things i experience I need to vent with others, and its nothing you just talk about a lot of it is so barbaric and yucky, malicious no one can handle that nollage without talking with someone else about it i was living in a bubble for the past 7 months while he was away i didn’t feel that i had the right people around me that could help and talk about it No parent should be alone with this for 7 months, and not receive any help and i need to do what i can to provide the help thats why its so important We need to stop spreeding all this hate and anger in Denmark and we need to agnolage and distinguish between a religion and an organization the manipulates with a religion there is so much at stake her and these parents have a strength and they have the knollage that we can’t do without. We need them. Problem is, if its only the Danish Security and Intelligence Service that has the list of all the parents involved and they won’t share it with VINK or Aarhus model, that are the deradicalize unites in Denmark well how can you deradicalize then if you don’t get in touch with the parents? Karolina Dam, thank you so much for sharing your story with the rest of us your welcome

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